Well, it's a few days later than promised in coming, but this is it: my final blog post of the summer (at least for the travel blog...there may be another "My Life at Harvard" version in the near future, so stay tuned...).
I am generally horrible at fully wrapping something up before jumping into the next thing--I somehow found the discipline to push through assignments in the professional and academic arenas, but many phases of my life have thus far seen me jump from one thing right into the next without sufficiently wrapping up what came before.
I don't know why this is. Perhaps it's the love of a new situation, setting or circumstance. Perhaps it's inattention to detail. Perhaps it's excitement over what's to come. Perhaps it's obstinacy. Perhaps it's sheer laziness. Or maybe, just maybe, it's because I don't actually want to fully close the book on what came before.
As far as this particular trip is concerned, I'm fairly certain that it's the latter.
This is all a very long-winded way of saying that I wasn't quite ready to write this last blog entry, so I didn't. It's been a week since I "landed" in Cambridge, MA, my apartment is as close to being to "set-up" as it can get at the moment, and I've ruminated (or, more likely, procrastinated) long enough.
Before I dig too much into my thoughts, I first want to issue a few thank you's.
First and foremost, thank you to all of the folks who tolerated my presence and hosted me along the way. Your kindness and willingness to open your home to me--who, in some cases, was a complete stranger--are both heart-warming and very much appreciated. I cannot thank you enough for your generosity.
Second, thank you to those who have followed my banter in this space over the course of the last two months. Knowing that there were folks out there who cared about me and were interested in my travels (or at least were looking for good pictures) helped to keep me going in times both happy and sad. I hope that my banter has been entertaining, and I hope you've enjoyed the pictures.
Third, thanks to all of those folks who I met along the way (if you're actually reading this...). It was wonderful to meet you, and I appreciate all of the insights, advice and stories you shared along the way.
To conclude the trip, I thought I would address the most frequently asked question, then devote a few lines to some broad reflections about the trip. I will warn you now...this is a lot of rambling, but I can't think of a better way to organize it...
Perhaps the most frequently asked--and most difficult to answer--question along the way this: "Wait--you're by yourself? Don't you get lonely?"
Well, as with most things in life, the answer was and is complicated.
First, I was rarely "physically alone" (aside from portions of West Texas, Wyoming and South Dakota...). Wherever I went, I was surrounded by folks from around the world, many of whom were on similar treks and had wonderful stories to tell. To those who know me, I am a bit of an extrovert, and had little difficulty making friends and conversation along the way. I have shared some of the stories I heard from folks along the way, but there are countless more. Grab a beer with me the next time you see me and I'll relive some of them for you.
Though I was rarely physically alone, the solitude of the road and my "mission" was ever present. Don't get me wrong--some days were great. There are definitely times when I like to be alone with my thoughts, and I had plenty of satisfying days spent just thinking, listening to music, reading and talking to myself. It was great to be able to clear my head, to separate myself from the experiences I've had over the last few years and really reflect on what I've done and learned along the way.
Other days, particularly long drive days through areas with limited cell coverage, the quiet solitude was deafening. These days were tough because I had either thought about something too much and twisted my brain in knots, or because I literally couldn't move past a certain issue or topic. Sometimes they were deeply personal issues; other times, it was second guessing decisions I've made or agonizing over decisions which are far into the future.
There were also days in new cities where it seemed I couldn't break the surface; that no matter how hard I tried, no one was interested in chatting with me, and I couldn't push through the superficial to get to the true essence of a place. These were most definitely frustrating times, particularly given my personality. These were probably the times when I felt the most alone.
That being said, these experiences were worthwhile, meaningful, and ultimately good. The long, solo thought sessions allowed me to fully flesh out some key issues and explore all different sides. The time walking or eating or exploring a new place by myself provided a forum to test my determination and self-reliance. Discovering these facts was in many ways empowering. Thankfully, I came to see the inherent good in these things even as I was logging miles across the U.S.
So yes, knowing that I was on my own engendered a ton of self-confidence. But it also forced an acute awareness of circumstances and my own personal limitations. This last part was definitely not the easiest for me. I'm still a young guy, a former athlete (the "former" part has been made very clear to me numerous times), and I feel like I can do pretty much anything I put my mind to. Throughout the trip, however, I was faced with a number of circumstances where discretion was the better part of valor, and I had to apply the brakes. This required me to be honest with myself, which is not exactly easy to do. After doing it every day for two months, tackling a wide variety of challenges, including hiking down and up Grand Canyon, biking the hills of San Francisco, and even exploring Las Vegas, however, it's comes a bit more naturally than it did when I started the trip.
In general, I would say that I was able to work through the loneliness, and find a way to embrace it. That, more than anything, brought a sense of serenity that carried me through times both good and bad.
On to more random ramblings....
There definitely seemed to be themes that presented themselves along the way...early on, it was definitely live music. Later, it was sports. While I always love a good live music show, and by now you should know how I feel about football and baseball, I wouldn't say I planned it that way. It's just funny how those things worked themselves out.
Writing was something that I wanted to be a bigger part of my trip than it actually was. I didn't write as much on my own as I had hoped. That being said, I found different avenues through which to express and record my thoughts, including this space. Conversations--both with myself and others--also helped. Had I to do it over, I most certainly would have been more diligent about keeping records of my thoughts and feelings along the way.
My car held up extremely well throughout the trip. I had it serviced once in California, but otherwise it required minimal attention. The only foul up was elevation-related in Colorado, as apparently it takes a bit more thrust than normal for the fuel injectors to sufficiently gas up the engine at a higher elevation. Thankfully this was only a minor snafu, quickly addressed by my "more mechanically inclined" younger brother and a guy at a CarQuest. Once I was back down at normal elevations, everything was fine.
While it held up great, I didn't exactly do a great job of keeping my car organized. Don't get me wrong--it was clean and operated as smoothly as ever. But the backseat and my trunk quickly devolved from an organized "closet" of sorts to something more like my college dorm room. Again, this is something I would have been much more diligent about had I to do the trip again.
It presented some challenges along the way, but camping was actually a pretty cool and inexpensive way to spend a decent chunk of nights on the trip. I wouldn't label myself an avid outdoorsman, though I enjoy hiking, fishing (when I can find the time), and other outdoor activities. Camping in a variety of locals was pretty cool, and the folks I met along the way in the campgrounds were among the most interesting by far. So many stories...and so many foreigners--I was a bit surprised by how many foreign languages I heard in campgrounds at all kinds of sites, from tourist havens like Grand Canyon to small, off-the-beaten-path haunts outside of Portland, OR. Pretty cool, though.
I am a political junkie. Always have been. However, I did the best I could to steer away from the election coverage during the trip. I did find myself in some overtly political discussions (no surprise there), and most people with whom I spoke generally boiled it down to this: they don't really feel like they know Mitt Romney; what they do know, they're not sure they like; the President has missed several opportunities during his first-term; health care was probably a mistake, if not the policy, most definitely the politics; and things seem to be slowly getting better, albeit perhaps too slow to matter for President Obama's re-election chances.
I will withhold my own thoughts on the two candidates and whom I plan to support until later, at least until after the first debate.
Moving to concluding thoughts...
When I started this trip, I had a variety of goals in mind: to see the country (check); meet new people (check); go exciting new places (check); take a ton of pictures (double-check); find myself (jury is out); etc. I definitely succeeded in meeting many of them. I saw a ton, had a lot of cool experiences, and met some wonderful and amazing people. That being said, there were some things I would've done differently.
I would've planned a bit better, particularly when it came to seeing major tourist attractions. I wasted a lot of time trying to figure out what to do in a location when I was already there, instead of in the weeks/months prior to my arrival.
I would've been more conscious about food along the way. On many days, I subsisted on Clif bars and fruit. Yes, there were some wonderful meals at some excellent restaurants along the way, but I think better preparation on this front would've saved some time and money.
I honestly think I would've camped more. I was in the tent about 25% of the nights, and honestly could have done a bit more. I also should have been a bit more "camping-oriented," building more fires and spending more time around the campsite.
So yes, there are some things I would've done differently. As I look back, though, I have no regrets whatsoever. I'm very pleased that I was able to make the journey and see everything that I did. It was the trip of a lifetime, and there are countless memories (and tons of photos) which I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
And while I wouldn't say I found myself, I would say that I found a certain comfort in my own skin that maybe didn't exist before.
Again, thank you to everyone reading this for your moral and emotional support along the way. Even if we never actually spoke, knowing that folks were out there reading about my travels made it easier to keep pushing forward.
Take care, and let's get that beer soon.
DRB
